Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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