they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
