If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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