Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
