Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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