it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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