is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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