Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.