At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize