Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
