Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
