smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
