So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Randomize
