I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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