Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My vagina is officially offended.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
