quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
