I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize