My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
