Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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