Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
