It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize