That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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