I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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