After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
