If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
