found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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