Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
