If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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