Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
