i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
