if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
