I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
