Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
