biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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