you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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