Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
