tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
