thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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