He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
my poor anus
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
