You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
