I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
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Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
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It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants