If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think people are normalizing furries