why didn't you poke me back
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her