you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
the condom got lost in my hair
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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