I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
sarcasm needs its own font
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He's on the porch naked. Help.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize