Moan for me like Helen Keller
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
