You can't motorboat a personality
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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