At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
