i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
