lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
