Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Be still, my beating vagina.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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