You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
