i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
