Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
