went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The adults are the big ones right?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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