He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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