fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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