You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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