you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
